This reason is most likely when you, your ex, and common friends meet often. Sometimes you go from being an ex to a friend with benefits very quickly. When I pitched the idea of getting back he said he cant just leave the girl he is with because she hasnt done anything wrong to him. This is the reason we get into trouble and do things we know are bad for us. Again, it all depends on the context and content of their message. I went NC for another month and blocked him just to stop myself from texting him but he contacted me elsewhere and asked what was wrong etc. Receiving a text or DM from an ex can trigger some strong feelings. The mix of anxiety and fear of loss, genuinely make you think this is a once in a lifetime opportunity a bargain deal, meant for you to take it. It might be something emotional and romantic or it could be something as practical as sharing the fuel expenses or using that club membership card that you had; in any case, your ex misses the perks of being a part of your life. He didnt really like talking to me & grew distant. We struggled in our marriage but were deeply in love. I never did. by Chris Richardson. Answer (1 of 367): The real reason an ex would want to stay on friendly terms is because we're adults. Maybe your ex was never in love with you. Of course remember the good times, but the bad times don't reminisce on. 8 things to do when an ex contacts you years later. Sometimes Being Friends Can Work As Long As Rules Are Redefined. Its possible he started seeing/talking to other people and got a huge raise to the ego. 1. But unfortunately we crossed paths again somehow. To control you. For the first week we talked and hung out but now we dont talk at all. Im gonna try my best to be a good friend and maybe something will happen naturally. You need to go back into a no contact this time for 45 days and work on yourself in that time, read about the ungettable girl and how you need to become the best version of yourself. She even organised my last birthday party. Then three weeks later he breaks up saying,its him and not me. That he thought this time itd be different because I was so cool and he really liked me, but the same old feelings came in like with all the others hed been with. They seem to believe that love somehow makes human beings selfless. 1. And that is the impression of moving on and being happy on your own. You are always going to be starving for validation because of anxiety and false hope. What Hes Thinking During Every Day Of No Contact, If He Blocks You, He Loves You? How do you know? Thats just ridiculous and unfair that she is not acknowledging my genuine concern, interest. I decided that I was not getting anywhere And was stalking him on snap. The reason for that is because if you show zeal towards him or her, your ex will reasonably return less. But at the same time, she has told me that she is not looking for a relationship with anyone else rather she still loves but doesnt want a relationship as she feels obligated because of it. If you relate to this, read on as we tell you the answers to this and other questions. This generous behavior is in reality just an act of mercy and pity. 7. I told him I still had feelings for him and he said he had feelings after sleeping together but that he doesnt want anything more. 8. 2. Today we are going to be tackling three of the biggest questions that my clients seem to have when they find themselves in this situation. Dr. Margaret Ann Dixon is a psychologist in private practice in the state of Nevada, USA. Required fields are marked *. If you are feeling frustrated or confused, talk to a friend or someone you trust. Also, learn about things to consider and ways to react when your ex intends to be friends with you. Use Rachael as an example that accepting your exs request to become friends is sometimes really not the best idea. The other problem is that she chose to run away and treated you poorly. While it is entirely possible to remain friends with an ex after a breakup, according to science, it is not such a great idea. This is why we . If youre the one that left, they might be suggesting staying friends because they dont want everything to end so abruptly. A great way to still have you in their life without the romance is through friendship. You are going to have one type of conversation with your boss. I believe this kind of arrangement can work assuming both of you are getting something out of the relationship, support. After he found out, he broke up with me and I can honestly say that I had regret my decision instantly and I apologized sincerely and promised that it wouldnt happen again. All of that has been erased as quickly as you can say whoops. Sometimes exes will want to be friends shortly/right after the breakup. Why Your Ex Would Want To Be Friends With You For Emotional Support. He or she looks for things you possess so you can raise their social status and overall health. Anyways she texted me a couple days later, we had a conversation over text. He then went on to send me a screenshot showing that he has not removed any of our photo albums from his phone and he told me that even though we are together I should know how he really feels about me. To be fair, this is more common with a casual or short-term relationship. I kept myself busy even though this was still painful. We didnt have any labels on the relationship, but it was very intense. Youre thinking that the only way you can get close to your ex again is by getting in bed with them. 2. This has been debated many times on this board and I have seen it happen to me and my women friends in real life. Therefore, they try sweetening up things by stating that we can at least be friends.. He'll want to keep you in his life to provide a female presence in his life, at least until he meets someone new. Perhaps the relationship was one-sided, a fling or an infatuation, and they are over with it now. Whether it be property, a pet, social circle, or most definitively children, your ex may want to keep the peace and stay friendly for those reasons. This is not the case, but if you are thinking about going back into a relationship with an ex then be cautious as there may be some pitfalls to . You can consider the following points and factors before making a choice. Security. A relationship with no commitments and the freedom to look elsewhere is a convenient prospect; it provides them with the best of both worlds. We never told each other we loved each other. 1. Why Is The Dumper Silent After A Breakup? I want to be more than friends or nothing at all and I told him this. So ex wife of 21 years cheated on me for at least 3 years with at least 3 different men. Sutton Stracke would want to meet her match in Lisa Rinna. In the heat of the moment, we all say things that we dont mean or regret later. Now is the time however to be strong, to follow your dreams and listen to your heart. I dated a girl for 6 months. This past week he called me to tell me he misses me, that he has been having a hard time with the breakup, and wanted to make sure I was okay. 4. Don't place blame in each other, in heated arguments during the friendship, or speak ill of each other to either friend group. He had not been in a serious relationship for 8 years. The easiest way to tell if a guy is using you for sex or intimacy after a breakup is if he was the one to end your relationship and if he tends to be distant except for when he wants to be intimate with you. So it is the minimum respect. Hi Jess, no do not open his snaps it really is not important that you keep your streak You need to go into a NC and stick with it for at least 30 days. When he feels the need to speak to you, he will contact you. They still consider themselves to be friends. I grieved and did everything you need to do to get past it. I want to hear your thoughts. October 6, 2021 by Zan. 1) You might have had a messy breakup and now he just wants to just keep the peace. I feel bad for her mental health. Generally speaking an ex can get upset over the no contact rule being used on him and think to himself, "Fine, I don't need her. Idk Im justifying something dumb I know but bare with me. So I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half, 6 months into it I broke up with him because he didnt seem to care about me (he said he did but his actions did) eventually we got back together as he said hell change etc now a year later Im smarter and wiser and realised that all we have thats good is in the friendship box, no intimacy no partnership just good conversation. Guys, in particular, are afraid of being put in that dark hole when they start liking a girl. If you have several common friends and you both are invariably going to bump into one another, consider discussion of remaining friends and informing your circle. Instead, you may focus on yourself, engage in activities you like, and work towards healing yourself from the past wounds. Does he get off on hurting me? 3. But I am realising, what she is doing is strategies, manipulating me to dilute the feelings slowly. Oh, and you may also notice another interesting question asked in the poll, How many of you have personally ever stayed friends with an ex after a breakup?. He Still Wants You Around. In other words, its going to take longer to see success. He told me from the beginning he wanted to stay friends. Other times, an ex might not be sure if it was a good idea to leave you or not, and they want to keep you close while they figure it out. She has a background in school psycholo more, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on new parenting, marriage, and relationships. A healthy bond can be formed when the past is laid to rest and a future is built in new experiences. Getting your ex back requires you to position yourself properly and the timing has to be right. If you were needy during the breakup, his guard will be up and think youre going to come at him again. We just broke up in November. Dear Linda, My Ex wants to be friends again. It has been 3 months, I have been in contact with her. Things like well always be together and stay friends for life if we breakup are irrelevant. 13) Remember, that forgiveness is vital. Im talking about people that have children together and therefore need to communicate whos going to do what for the kids, or people that share real estate, pets etc. She is a caring person and I dont know why she was acting like that. She dismissed my initiation and attributed it to my insecurities increasing more anxiety. Even attempted to cheat right before he broke up with me. Scroll down for six real-life stories from women who are still friends with their exes, whether for the sake of the kids or out of respect for the love they once shared, then head to the comments and tell us what your relationship is like with your ex today. I really want this relationship to work and but I have no clue what I should be doing about it, but i just cant let go this person from my life. Remember, its when he is ready to be friends, and not you! In other words, they believe they can find someone else. She took 1 week to respond. I broke up with my ex 5 years ago this October. As long as you arent getting used and you arent sleeping together I have seen certain exes successfully remain friends. He is only 45 min from me. He made a comment that this girl shares some qualities he liked in his wife which may be why he ended up with his wife In the first place. It makes it easier when you bump into each other. Maybe meet up in a few weeks? Look at how you are being treated and ask yourself if staying friends with your ex really matters right now. By purposefully putting yourself in the friend zone you are adding more time to your sentence. Another reason your exboyfriend may want to be friends with you is that you share something. Being friends with an ex can be choppy waters to navigate, whether you're married or not. Then she would say if no phone then theres no relationship. It however messed with my head, she sounded sad talking to me. To dumpers, its incredibly empowering, and one of the reasons why exes come back into our lives. Im not trying to scare you, Sanyam, but you should keep this in mind so you dont torture yourself by refusing to let go. Id like to take a quick second and expand on each of these reasons for a moment. To reiterate, instead of pretending to be your exs friend and becoming needy by contacting him and asking him various questions, you should quickly accept the friendship and immediately lay low. For other people its out of the question to continue to see their ex, especially not as a friend! having loved will always be enough to respect the person and appreciate the fact that your ex saw you at. Your exe's friends and family try to convince you to talk to them. He has no intentions of staying friendly . In the complaint filed at Manhattan . 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